me from a to z

A – Age: 9 Dog years
B- Biggest Fear: Everyone finding out what a dick I really am
C- Current Time: Poop time!
D- Drink you last had: One shade of Earl Grey Tea
E- Easiest Person To Talk to: My dog Winston – doesn’t talk back
F- Favorite Song: Trololo by Eduard Khil
G- Ghosts, are they real?: Yes, in our minds, dreams and Scooby Doo episodes
H- Hometown: Born and bred in Western Sydney, slowly casting off my bogan roots
I- In love with: A woman that I’ve been obsessively stalking for the last 25+ years
J- Jealous Of: The intimate relationship between the stalked one and George Looney
K- Killed Someone? It was self-defence, they kept Facebook poking me
L- Last time you cried? Just yesterday, I removed some nasal hair with tweezers
M- Middle Name: Engelbert the 3rd
N- Number of Siblings: 7, but my Dad was in the Navy so there is likely to be more
O- One Wish: Intergalactic peace, love, fine cheese and wine for all mankind
P- Person who you last called: Clive the car mechanic, I’m disappointed he hasn’t finished knurling my pistons yet
Q- Question you’re always asked: Are those real?
R- Reason to smile: My exceptionally sexy body
S- Song last sang: Pure Imagination by the great and renowned Willy Wonka
T- Time you woke up: Wee time
U- Underwear Colour: Fluorescent orange
V- Vacation Destination: Any place with air con, hot spa, pool and a ‘do not disturb’ sign.
W- Worst Habit: Licking the sauce off my plate since I stopped eating bread
X- X-Rays you’ve had: Uvula, Gluteus Maximus, Coccyx, Umbilicus and Humeras
Y- Your favourite food: Any type of meat (except Llama) in a creamy garlic sauce with cracked pepper
Z- Zodiac Sign: Saggytearyarse

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