The Dude is wearing a t-shirt with a picture of Jesus about to be crucified, with the words “He died for you, now live for Him”.
Jesus shows up…
Jesus says: “Dude. That’s what you got from my crucifixion? That you OWE me? Really?”
he Dude: “But Jesus. I owed a debt I could not pay. You paid a debt You did not owe…”
Jesus: “Ah yes… the whole ‘Penal Substitution Theory thing’… That figures… Who TOLD you that you were ugly, filthy, unworthy, pathetic, and naked, and that you deserve death for being human? And who TOLD you that it should have been YOU on that cross? That’s insane, Dude. I would NEVER put that kind of low-self-esteem, self-abasing crap on you! You really didn’t get the whole Wine Skins speech, or even the whole… ‘Becoming like little children’ thing, did you?”
The Dude: “Wine skins?”
Jesus: “So… you basically… what? Made ME into a new religion? Is that really what you people did?”
The Dude: “What on earth do you mean, Jesus?”
Jesus: “Dude! You basically took that same ancient obligation-based old covenant relationship TEMPLATE and moved it RIGHT OVER ON TOP of the New Covenant, and in many ways you’ve merely replaced Moses with ME, and in essence merely replaced the OLD religion with a NEW religion called “Christianity”. Really? Why would you DO that?”
The Dude: “But Jesus! YOU are the Son of the most High God, and we worship you.”
Jesus: “Dude. Did I ever ask you to worship Me? You are just as much a part of God as ‘I AM’, and I tried in SO MANY WAYS (and I mean SO many ways) to get that message through to people. How could they have completely missed that? And by the way, how did you all get someone else’s ancient Middle Eastern Judaism religion mixed into YOUR life and history of twenty-first century Seattle?”
The Dude: “Huh?”
Jesus: “Dude, do you really think you are a first-century Jew or Gentile?”
The Dude: “I don’t understand…”
Jesus: “No, you really don’t, do you? But it’s okay Dude, because you will. Here’s a clue… I did NOT come to save you from God! How on earth did men dream THAT scenario up? It wasn’t ABSOLUTION or some sort of… legal ACQUITTAL that you needed so badly, but AWAKENING and ENLIGHTENMENT. And I TRIED to explain this several times. I really did. What do you think the whole “born again” conversation with Nicodemus was about? Y’all thought I was trying to tell you who God is, but I was actually trying to tell you who YOU are. You are missing the whole point of LIFE, Dude. Did you know that ‘sin‘used to be an actual LIST of activities that were literally ‘against the law’? Is that what you STILL think it is???”
The Dude responds: “Wow! Far out! I don’t know if you know it or not, like I mean – if You can like read my brain or not, but You are like totally blowing me away, Jesus!”
Jesus: “It’s not Me, Dude… it is the TRUTH that bloweth you away, not Me.
‘You shall know the TRUTH and the TRUTH shall, well, blow you away’.
Oh, and by the way, I don’t want you to live for ME, because I would NEVER expect that kind of… duty-based… requirement of you. That doesn’t even make sense. I want you to live for YOU...enjoy God, enjoy LIFE. I want you to experience the FREEDOM of your own eternal life. I want you to really and truly know who and what YOU ARE (the salt of the earth and the light of the world). Why do you keep asking GOD to be your salt and your light? What do you think ‘knowing God’ is all about? He is in you and you are in Him, and we are all together. Don’t you see? It is WHY you love others!”
The Dude: “WOW! I see! I mean I really SEE! Thank you Jesus!”